Miracle said:
And his name is Steve   


Quote from: HISBRIDE on Saturday, last week

 am interested on someone else right now.
 





Yep.  Thank you NMM.  I am talking about this post by you, and a followed post by your friend "Miracle'. 

She's intereste 'on' Steve? Hmmm, if that's me then is there something I should be afraid about? lol.

I never assumed that HB's statement was referring to me though. I kinda figured that she   found some hot guy in Sweden.  

I think it is our mind-set in our approach that fails us.

Our primary reason for going to church is not to find dates, either sex, so I think that the environment lends itself more likely to experience rejection when date questions are asked out-of-the-blue.

I believe if a woman is interested in us they'll let us know, if we're paying attention, whether at church or not.

We men must accept that women in our churches know who the single eligible bachelors are, and it just takes the right kind of steps to get to know someone enough to consider dating.  Not something we can make happen just because we suddenly decide we want that to happen.

Question for us men to think about:

Why should a woman trust our overtures of relationships, when it is unclear whether or not we seek to further stages of intimacy?

There are ways we men can show interest without being boors.  The trick is learning how to ask so that a clear rejection isn't necessary.  And if you can figure that out with certainty, write a book on it, and you'll make millions.

Why can't you tell me what you talk about?  Gotta be pious?

HB, my post was a joke. I was joking about the statement that JLB said that 'HB is interested ON steve' rather than 'interested IN steve.' My whole being afraid thing was joking about the wording of that statement.  

The males aren't equipped to "dictate" who the women date either. They do get to ask, and the women do get to decide.


I've never seen women be rude, except for a few who have had to repeatedly turn down the same guy. I have never been rude myself on the first rejection, but sometimes guys don't take "no" for an answer. They demand to know why, or insult me for daring to not be interested.

This whole "the woman was made for the man, the man wasn't made for the woman" thing doesn't mean that every women was made for any man.

Not wanting to discuss personal conversations, hopes and dreams with a stranger has nothing to do with piety, but everything to do with intrusiveness.

Personally, I've seen many successful fix-ups on both sides of the sexes, from both sides of the sexes, and I remain open to my friends fixing me up. Who better to find me a mate than people who know me and love me?

Init4Him

Perfect, Lawrence.

Perhaps men could make it more clear what their intentions are when they ask. I have taken some men's overtures to be friendly when they have meant it romantically and it's embarrassing for us both. I think some guys think it's "safer" to try to be friends and then see where it goes, and some women find that less threatening, less pressure.

But a simple, "How about a date?" is clearer than, "Would you like to go for coffee?" or, "I think we could be friends. Would you like to talk more?"

Signals are further misinterpreted when a man asks a woman to go somewhere and then doesn't immediately pay if he is romantically interested. When a man asks for separate checks; doesn't ask a woman what she wants to order; or takes the check at the end and starts to divvy it up; or in a more casual environment like a Starbucks, he orders, pays and steps aside for the woman to do the same, he is saying--whether he intends it or not--I am not interested in you romantically.

Also, if a man is looking for a romantic relationship, doing romantic things like getting an ice cream in the park, going for a walk by the water, going ice skating, going canoeing or kayaking in one canoe or kayak and not two, are romantic and set a clear signal that this is courtship without investing a lot of money.

But a have a lot of male friends and it works out well for both of us, we feel more comfortable going out in pairs, I need people to help me lift heavy objects, it's nice to bounce things off someone of the opposite sex, or get advice from. But both need to agree on what the relationship is about.