Last night at Bible study this guy who is not very gracious in speech starts pushing my buttons telling me how old I look with the gray goatee.    said it several times .. I just chalked it off to that's the way this guy is. LoL  He's just kind of goofy.  He's like 400 pounds himself and wants to tell me how old I look (the first words out of his mouth .. and then stays on the subject).  What if I had told him how fat and obese he looked?  How well would that have gone over?  No, I took the high road and jumped in the car with ms daisy and grabbed some grub.   I guess u could say I turned the other cheek and split.  LoL  Then later this gal in Bible study gives me grief about the shades I'm wearing. (sunglasses)  I can see why there is so much unhappiness in the world .. we don't know how to talk to each other .. we keep pushing each others buttons. 

You know what's funny, they talked to me nicer at the secular restaurant than they did at the Bible study.  U just have to laugh at it.  Sometimes, many times, I feel more love from people in the world than from people in the church.  We in the church are into legalism so much.  We try to impress people with our 'righteousness' and then we alienate those who don't have pretense or facade.

I know that without Him I am nothing.  I am ..... a Jesus junkie.  Totally dependent on His grace.  A sheep in need of the Shepherd.

Lady J,

You speak with wisdom.  I cannot disagree with your words. 

What I say is this:  If Jesus were here today, we would find so much fault in Him that it would be a crying shame.  It is our fallen nature.  We judge people every day.  We don't want brother Ramone to look like Jesus .. we want him to look like clean cut GQ brother so and so (the one with the drug, alcohol, obesity, and or lust problem).  It's part of the Cultural Christianity thing that we live.  We want to keep up with the Jones'es .. we want to be like the Jones'es .. we want to make as much money or more than the Jones'es.  We want to be successful.  We want money.  We want to look like everybody else.  Kind of like the present day politician mentality.  Politically correct.  In the box.  Be a good boy.  Don't get out of the box.  Don't be too different .. peeps might notice.  Blend baby blend.

When I was married I grew a full beard (more than the goatee I have now) and the (then) sweety pie said nothing about it.  She did once, though, on one of her anger tantrums, get mad at me for some shades I was wearing and drove off and left me at a restaurant to walk home.  Which just goes to show that women can be just as shallow and mean as men can be.

Anyway, the point is that I don't go around giving people a hard time about their looks.  I don't criticize their hair, dress, weight, makeup, glasses, etc. .. to me that would be Stupid, Unloving, Uncaring, Shallow, Rude, etc. .. in other words - knucklehead.  But sometimes I am surrounded by those that do .. the ones I seek to minister to.     Christ was much better than me cuz He put up with the @#%&.  Lord if I ever meet a gal gracious in speech it would be an eye opener.  Until then I'll stay single.  I get enough hell being single .. don't need it at home too.  LoL  Sad but true sis.  The tongue is an unruly evil.  U know that.

I've had other ministers share the same idea sis .. you come in from a long trip, u feel like you've poured your heart out, u r roadweary, then the friction at home starts.    Makes me wanna go practice my guitar .. my guitar never says a cross word to me.  Thank you Lord for my loving friends ..... and for my guitar(s) ..... and my bike(s).  God is good. 

Then there are those that bring their hearts to console the weary (like after Katrina):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDWndjwEamQ

could not agree with you more Ramone

sometimes it becomes so easy to point fingers, make fun of, stare, laugh at or criticize another person.  It is much harder to find the log in our own eyes

my one 'uncle' was very critical - he wanted things done a certain way ... all the way down to the technique (example : shoveling snow --> hold shovel a certain way, swing in this manner, throw it over there ......  what he forgot was that a girl's abilities are not the same as a man's)

 from him I learned how to stand up for myself

 from him I gained a better regard for right and wrong

 from him I gained a 'lust' for knowledge (maybe better word is thirst), and certain things came easy to me when at college

 from him I learned to be less critical of others (because I did not want to be like him,  wanted to be the best parts of him and with God's help discarded the bad parts)

but most of all I learned (and so much more with God's help) to be more aware of my mistakes and imperfections and differences before lashing out at someone else.  And in so many instances God has always been there to guide me or to make me go over and apologize.

I know a few here have criticized me for being down on myself .... but if you walked a mile in my shoes you would have a better feel of what has made me tick all these years, and even how long my walk has been with God (as far back as I can remember ... and perhaps even farther  --- God brought me here for a purpose, gave me two brothers who loved me from day 1, a wonderful and talented Mother and an intelligent dad)

what makes us haughty is when we start saying " I am prettier than that girl or woman"    we have just as many physical flaws as the next person ... only thing is that most of us do NOT look at our own appearances or mistakes but are oh so quick at pointing out another's imperfections, mistakes etc.

I am overweight ... and I know it  (it is affecting me healthwise too)
I'm average in appearance .... and I know it
I'm horrible in math ..... and I know it
I've had to pull up on the reins more times than once when someone looks different, and get to know them first  *"Don't juge a book by its cover" ... so many of us fall into that trap (satan's trap)
I made a mistake in a marriage .... and I know it (til death do us .... but God showed me on several occasions that this was not going to work and guided me through this and showed me a way out and gave me Peace with that [this was felt every week through the DivorceCare class I took - God prepared me week by week before each lesson was covered in the class]
I'm a tomgurl ... and I know it  (my college education reflects that also)
I went to college to learn ... and took hard courses, and in part in an area that was male dominated .  unlike some gurlz who went to college to get their mrs degree I studied and struggled to get my Bachelors Degree{s} - and in some areas outdid the guyz.   Also in college I drew even closer to God and felt HIM pull me all the way from my home to the wonderful state of Maine.

if I criticize someone else .... I've already addressed my own shortcomings and mistakes


..... I'm off my soapbox now ....

Sewing

Lady J, You made me smile.  Thank You.  You have that gift you know ... the gift of encouragement... a minister told me I had it .. but sometimes my batteries need recharging.  I love my sisters.     Hey sis, it is ok for a guy to be a Christian and buff too, isn't it?  LoL

Sistah J, it's usually the man (in ministry) that gets the attention ... but yes, if a gal like you gets more attention than the hubby, the hubby should not be jealous (men & women get jealous) .. but males have egos and think they should be the top dawg .. knowhattamean? .. the man should be humble though and celebrate his woman's 'attention' .. and the woman should not be 'bossy' because of her attention (nor should the man be bossy IMO).

And yes there should be mutual encouragement at home.  If the wife had a tough day at work then let her sit down and chill out .. if u r not busy, fix her something toeat or drink .. and praise her (she's a free and gentle flower, growing wild ); her petals are pretty, her spirit sweet.  The same with a guy.  If he's had a tough day when he gets home don't give him a honeydo list and a kick in the but if he doesn't start doing housework as soon as he gets home (he is your knight in shining armor ); he is faithful to you, so treat him kindly.

(not speaking to u directly Lady J; I'm sure u r a good wife. )

Bro Ramone - Your gray beard looks just fine.   

If the guy in your Bible Study doesn't like it, he doesn't have to look at it.  (Lend him your shades.)  JLB is probably right when she suggested that the lady who complained about your shades probably just missed checking out your nice eyes.

Christians can be pretty nasty sometimes, so can nonChristians.  Sometimes I'm not as patient or as understanding as I should be.  I had to apologize today for my impatience with my daughter.  She graciously accepted my apology.  When we mess up, we need to 'fess up so we can move onward upward.

Sewing - It's easy for us to focus on our negatives.  We are told how much men want slim, young, pretty women.  We are bombarded with images of beautiful women in the media.  When we don't measure up to the beautiful face and body displayed on magazines, it's easy to feel insignificant.  Fortunately, God doesn't care how off the mark we are with our physical appearances.  He looks at our hearts and whether we desire to do what pleases him.  Eating healthy, getting exercise, and trying to look our best physically is important, but focusing on our relationship with Father God is even more important!

Had a great sunday with my niece and her husband in NY city.
Attended Times Square Church (David Wilkerson). Great worship, great message.
God is awesome!

Listened to a missionary from Viet Nam/Thailand area tonight who is Italian and from New York
(kinda looked like a gangsta, lol).  He likes to ride motorcycles and after the sermon prayed for me first.  I probably looked like I needed prayer badly, lol.  Actually I kinda have that biker look and I'm sure he could relate.  He prayed for a wife for me.  LoL  Then another minister prayed for me for a long time.  The pastor was playing base guitar.   I like the way that church prays for it's people.

LoL sis ... again u make me smile.     The missionary was a good looking guy IMO and after the service I asked him, "Who is that good looking woman?" (speaking of his wife) and received a warm response from both of them.

Yes Lady J, I totally agree that we should pray more in church.  Jesus said it is a house of prayer.  When I see the ministers and others praying for people in the service I see several things: Faith, Compassion, Interaction with people, Interaction with God, Love, Healing, Obedience, Praise, Humility ... I see all these things .. like a beautiful picture it warms the heart.  I feel a kindred spirit with those that show a need for God, His house, His people, prayer, repentance .. with those that long to be like Him and be with Him.

It's like I almost couldn't imagine having a date or spouse that did not have this same desire ... to be in the environment of worshiping God and being with His people.  It is like a family ... a warm, functional, loving family.