Do you feel you are adequately prepared to be a wife?
Do you feel you understand men and know what what kind
of man you are seeking?
What about the differing roles of men and women in marriage?
Do you know what the kind of man you are praying for
is seeking as a wife?
Are you that woman or becoming that kind of woman?
Who do you go to to learn about preparation for coutship
and marriage? Who do you trust on this issue?
This is a serious question, and deserves a more serious answer than the one that first popped into my mind. I'll get to that in a moment.
Do I feel I am adequately prepared to be a wife? Well ... I was a wife for 25 years (I should say 20, since I was separated for 5). I wasn't a perfect wife, that was for certain. I will admit that. But I know how to do many things, and I know a lot about the kind of wife I want to be ... and the kind of wife I don't want to be. I want to fulfill MY role better than I did before, and leave HIS role to him. I find much joy in the things I am learning about becoming the kind of wife I want to be, so I really believe I am beginning to understand that and that I would find pleasure in that role.
Do I feel I understand men? LOL this was the one I immediately thought, "If I have to understand men, I may never be ready to marry!" Seriously, though I understand them a lot better than I used to. I think a lot of what I used to think was a matter of stereotypes, and unfortunately, I think a lot of men play to those stereotypes, thinking they have to fulfill them. I find that kind of sad ... for the men (and sometimes for the women as well). I have to agree with HoneyGold that I think it's much easier to understand ONE MAN. I have found that I can do a pretty good job of that, I think ... as a good friend I am able to understand a man quite a bit if he is open with me. So I am confident that if my husband shares himself with me, I will be able to understand him.
As to knowing the kind of man I am seeking, yes, I really think I do. I prayed a lot about that one, and I think I'm pretty clear on my answers. Basically I want a man who loves and follows Jesus. All the details are just me learning what that looks like in real life. But I am learning that, and I believe I can recognize that when I see it in a man.
Ah, the differing roles of men and women in a marriage. Now this was my weak point before. I'm getting a crash course.
I am LOVING to find the differences between men and women and their roles. I knew some of course, but to see how it plays out and how men and women can support, balance, and build each other is a beautiful thing. This is something I would treasure, and look forward to this precious thing in marriage.
What kind of woman that man is seeking as a wife ..... oh boy, you have to hit me with one, don't you? LOL. Well, no ... I guess I'm not completely sure of that. Am I becoming that woman? Well, I have to trust the Lord that I am. I am becoming who the Lord would have me to be, so I can somewhat confidently say, "yes" to that question. Besides, in many ways, I am who I am. I don't believe anyone should change for the sake of making someone else happy. It is fake, and probably can't be maintained. If they don't love me for who I am, then they don't love me and 'nuff said. I've been there, done that. Got a couple of t-shirts now (and I don't like to wear 'em). No ... if a person wants to change because they themselves want to improve, that's fine. And I AM changing some things about myself, because I want to be a better person. But change for someone else ... no, I don't think that's wise.
Preparation for courtship? Well ... I pray. I trust God. I seek godly counsel of other women, and I pray about what they tell me. I think a marriage preparation course can probably be a good idea, but I haven't chosen one yet, LOL.
So am I ready? Hmmmmm .... I guess I am ready when God says I am ready.
In the meantime, I follow Him.
Grace and peace,
trishanna
